A man was caught today at the edge of the earth as he tried to jump off into the vast openness of cheese. He had made himself a nacho and was attempting to dive into the abundant Velveeta runoff that had so polluted the universe. He was, as you have found out, unsuccessful.

In our days, we lived an eternity. Now, we’re merely the shadows of our own past. We’d like to think that the end is near, but we know that it is not the case. We’re trying to fool ourselves so we don’t have to take into account the many days that will exist hereafter.